


take one step closer to you

by kangtv (galacticnik)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Office, Ha Sungwoon (mentioned) - Freeform, Hwang Minhyun (mentioned), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kim Jonghyun (minor), Lai Guanlin (minor), M/M, Yoo Seonho (minor), implied Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun, stares into the camera like i'm on the office, to be honest they spend very little time actually in an office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 07:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12054102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticnik/pseuds/kangtv
Summary: It's just a fight.Seongwoo and Daniel haven't talked for weeks—until things come to a head and change the nature of their very relationship.





	take one step closer to you

**Author's Note:**

> a big thanks to haru, who helped me figure out an important scene. i love you ❤︎
> 
> title taken from tonight by standing egg. self-edited, so please forgive any spelling/grammar/punctuation/formatting flubs!

“Oh my god what is _that_?”

High on the list of things Ong Seongwoo does not want to hear when someone enters the one and only bathroom in his apartment is that. Steeling himself to find something gross and potentially life threatening inside, he tiptoes over to where Jaehwan stands in shock, mouth open wider than Seongwoo thought humanly possible and pointing at—

_Huh._

“I think they’re cuddling,” Seongwoo says. He rests his chin on Jaehwan’s shoulder. “In the bathtub.” Minhyun’s arms are wrapped around Jonghyun’s waist, the latter’s head tucked against his chest. They’re a mess of limbs squeezed into a small space; it can’t be all that comfortable, but they look cozy and peaceful, like all the tension has drained from them. Well, he thinks, hell if he knows anything. He’s never snuggled with someone in a bathtub. Bathroom floor’s a different story. Ah, to be young and in college again.

“But _why_?” Jaehwan sounds strangled, like he just walked in on his parents having sex or something equally horrifying. Seongwoo would sympathize, but when you’ve been subjected to the same scene fifty odd times already, it loses the novelty—for everyone but Jaehwan, who’s over the top with his reactions _every single time_. Seongwoo silently thanks God for giving him the foresight to avoid alcohol last night; he doesn’t think he could handle Jaehwan’s shrill screeching with a hangover.

Seongwoo doesn’t have the time or patience to explain the particulars of Minhyun and Jonghyun’s relationship to Jaehwan yet again. He puts both hands on Jaehwan’s shoulders and wheels the younger man around to face him. “Shit happens,” Seongwoo says solemnly. “Now help me clean u—”

“I HAVE WORK BYE,” Jaehwan bursts out. For someone who is the definition of laziness, he shoots out from Seongwoo’s grip with surprising speed and darts to the door in his dirty socks, sliding across the smooth floor the whole way. He almost runs into the door in his haste, but it opens to reveal Jisung at the last minute—who sidesteps to let Jaehwan past.

“ _It’s Sunday!_ ” Seongwoo yells after him, but it’s too late. Kim Jaehwan has left the building.

Jisung slips off his shoes and sets a bag of groceries on the table. “Why was Jaehwannie running?” he asks conversationally. Seongwoo marvels at how fresh faced and awake he looks when he distinctly remembers Jisung running around with his shirt tied around his head and a face drawn on his stomach he introduced to people as ‘his best friend, George,’ last night.

“I asked him to help clean.” Seongwoo peers into the bag. Fruits, vegetables, no meat, but hey, he can work with this. Better than what he has right now.

Jisung nods like the mysteries of the universe make sense now. “ _Ah._ ” He digs through the bag and begins pulling out its contents to display on the table. “Bought you some groceries as a thank you for the drinks last night,” he explains. “Your fridge was empty.”

Seongwoo is offended. Just a tad. “It was full until you invited a bunch of starving kids over, but whatever.”

“It was only Seonho and Guanlin _and_ they invited themselves,” Jisung protests. Their firm’s interns have the mysterious ability to a) pop up whenever the rest of them get together for drinks and b) silently and stealthily eat everything remotely edible in their homes before vanishing into the night. Well, Seonho does. Guanlin’s a good kid just trying his best and Seongwoo will not stand for slander against him.

“They even ate my mom’s kimchi, Jisung.” He can’t even remember how old it was or how they unearthed it from the back of his refrigerator.

Jisung laughs. “Either way, thanks, and you’re welcome. We’re even.”

With Jisung’s help, Seongwoo manages to put all the groceries away in a short amount of time. Once his fridge is fully restocked, he turns his attention to rest of his apartment. Hands on his hips, he surveys the mess his living room has become. “Any chance you want to help me clean up as well?”

Last night was an Occasion Seongwoo doesn’t remember the details of. Celebrating Minhyun’s promotion, maybe? Something like that. It was really just an excuse to gather the group of friends together (plus a few extras) and drink themselves stupid. And Seongwoo, being the gracious and kind soul he is, offered up his place as the venue so they wouldn’t have to risk getting kicked out of the bar again.

He has some regrets.

“I thought Minki was on cleanup duty,” Jisung frowns, watching as Seongwoo pulls out a trash bag and begins stuffing empty cans and discarded streamers into it. Clearly, everyone was very excited last night. He wishes they could be as excited about helping him clean up his house.

“He’s passed out on my bed so, no.” Passed out on his bed with only a single sock on and Seongwoo is going to have to _burn_ those sheets, and probably the sock too since he’s _pretty_ sure it doesn’t belong to Minki. Just because.

Jisung breaks out into laughter and pulls out his phone. “This I have to—” He breaks off as realization sets in. “Wait, that borders on sexual harassment, doesn’t it?”

“You tell me; you’re the HR guy.”

“It does.” Sighing, Jisung puts his phone away and grabs a seat at the table. Seongwoo is tempted to ask if he intends to just sit there the whole time and watch Seongwoo struggle to stuff as much junk into his bursting trash bag as he can without making much of a dent in the mess, but refrains. Happy thoughts for the morning and all that.

“Oh, by the way,” Jisung begins after a while. He leans back in the chair, trying too hard to sound nonchalant. “Daniel says sorry for leaving so early last night. He ate some bad shrimp and had to run all the way home.”

Seongwoo stiffens at the mention of his name. It’s too obvious, maybe, and he’s not supposed to care. Sucking in a deep breath, he forces himself to relax. “Oh,” is all he says, crushing an empty beer can in his hands. Warm, sticky liquid sloshes onto his hands and he doesn’t bother wiping it off. He and Daniel had made eye contact for a brief second Daniel slipped out the door last night, and there was a moment where Seongwoo thought Daniel was going to say something. Then _he_ almost said something (“Stay,” perhaps, or even, “Hey”), but the music was loud and everyone was laughing and Seongwoo turned away, swallowing, not willing to ruin a perfectly good evening.

Bad seafood. Sounds like an excuse, but Seongwoo doesn’t question it.

“He said thanks for the invite, though,” Jisung continue, looking at him with well intentioned concern. It would be touching if he weren’t irritated.

“I didn’t invite him; _you_ did,” Seongwoo says pointedly. He ties a knot in the bag and sets it by the door, grabbing a couple of empty bottles of soju and heading to the sink to wash them out. His leg bumps against Jisung’s chair on the way, sending it slamming back down to all fours. “And next time? Maybe check with me first.”

“I thought you guys might want to talk.”

“About what?”

Jisung gives him a look that reminds Seongwoo of his dad: disappointment with a tinge of _‘stop being an idiot, son.'_  He’d love to avoid that kind of judgement in his own house. “Whatever’s happening with you two has to stop at some point.” When Seongwoo doesn’t respond, Jisung continues, “You guys are best friends. Don’t let a fight—”

“You know what would be great?” Seongwoo interrupts. One of the bottles nearly slips out of his grasp; he's having problems seeing straight. “If everyone wasn't so desperate to _fix_ us.”

“We just care, Seongwoo.” Jisung sounds as tired as Seongwoo feels. He gets it; this has been going on for a while, but it’s not anyone else’s business. It’s his. _Theirs._ Whatever.

“Wish you’d care a little bit less.”

Jisung sighs and throws his hands up. “If you want to be stubborn about this, then fine,” he grumbles. “But Daniel feels bad, and he misses you.”

 _Do you even know what he feels bad about,_ Seongwoo wants to ask. His throat closes before he can get the words out. It’s unnecessary and damn, he's a private person anyway. But he’s had enough of Jisung trying to mom him about this when he's a _grown fucking adult_ and can take care of his own relationships, thanks.

“Well,” Seongwoo says after a long pause. His hands turn red under the scalding hot water, but the sting is a welcome distraction from the uncomfortable memories the conversation is dredging up. “That's great. Hope he enjoys his feelings.”

Jisung facepalms.

 

—

 

By noon, Seongwoo has managed to kick a fully dressed Minki, the two-for-one Minhyun and Jonghyun combo, and a slightly bewildered Ha Sungwoon (found at the back of his coat closet) out of his apartment. Cleaning is going well too; Minhyun helps out a bit before leaving. Seongwoo just needs to tackle the mess left in the bathroom by the end of his well-deserved break.

Collapsing on the couch, Seongwoo closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His friends are so damn _nosy._ And fine, it sort of comes with the territory; he's nosy too. After all, he's been obsessively following and meddling in Minhyun and Jonghyun’s will-they-won't-they saga for three fucking years so he doesn't have room to say anything.

But it's different being on the receiving end, everyone’s attention fixed on them. Jisung isn't the only one who’s brought it up. Minhyun and Jonghyun have both (separately) taken him out for coffee to discuss it. Even Sungwoon told him to “get his act together,” which could be directed towards anything but he thinks it’s probably about this. Jaehwan is the only person who hasn't mentioned it and that's because Seongwoo seriously doubts he even noticed. Or doesn’t want to acknowledge it in hopes the problem fixes itself. Either way, thanks Jaehwan.

So: Seongwoo and Daniel aren’t talking. Haven’t been talking for the past few weeks. Aside from polite greetings at the office in front of others, their interactions have been non-existent. Considering they used to be joined at the hip before this, it’s a fairly big change. The tension between them now is obvious and nearly everyone in their social circle has noticed. But it’s just a damn fight— _friends fight_ —and Seongwoo wishes people would just stop worrying about it.

( _Just a fight_ ).

Fine, it bothers him. If Daniel’s sorry, why can’t he say it himself? If Daniel misses him, _why can’t he say it himself?_ Why are Jisung and the rest their go betweens, like they’re a couple of middle schoolers? Why can’t Daniel talk to him and just say, ‘I fucked up. I’m sorry’? Seongwoo isn’t sure if he would accept the apology as is, but it’s a start. Truth is, he’s so goddamn tired of being angry, of being upset and disappointed and—

If Daniel misses him, Seongwoo does too.

But that’s the problem with stuff like this. Making the first move is hard, and this time Seongwoo refuses to take the first step because he shouldn’t have to with the way things went down. Still, he wonders how long this will last, wonders if this how things come to an end.

Seongwoo covers his face with a pillow and groans. _Fuck this._

 

—

 

Monday mornings are a bitch.

Seongwoo makes a beeline for the kitchen first thing after arriving at work. Traffic is terrible out there which means no time to stop for his morning Americano _which means_ he’s going to be grumpy until his system is pumped full of caffeine. The office’s coffee machine makes crappy drinks, but something is better than nothing when you’re desperate.

He doesn’t expect to find Daniel already standing there, mumbling under his breath while repeatedly jabbing the button for hot water. Daniel looks too tired for a Monday morning, the bags under his eyes pronounced. His tie is crooked, shirt rumpled, and his hair sticks up in odd places. Seongwoo’s fingers twitch; he wants to at least smooth Daniel’s hair, help him look presentable before the day starts, but that would be crossing a line.

Instead, he stands in the doorway and watches Daniel struggle for a couple of minutes. Nothing happens. They’re going to be here all day if someone doesn’t do anything, and sadly, the burden falls to Seongwoo. With a sigh, he stalks over and gently pushes past Daniel, not daring to look at his expression. He presses a couple of buttons and the cup fills with hot water. Seongwoo carefully hands it off to Daniel before putting his coffee cup in.

“Uh, thanks.” He still has his back to Daniel, staring too hard at the blinking buttons. “You know that thing hates me,” Daniel says sheepishly, tacking on an awkward chuckle to the end of the sentence. It’s not actually that funny.

“It’s not the only thing.”

“Do you really?” Seongwoo looks over his shoulder to see Daniel standing there, tea bag in hand, looking hopelessly lost like he’s been set adrift at sea. Daniel swallows as their eyes lock. “Hate me, I mean,” he says. “Do you really hate me?”

 _Hell._ Daniel’s eyes are wide, guileless, and Seongwoo can’t say yes even if he’s tempted to. “No. Hate’s a pretty strong emotion.” Daniel visibly relaxes at his words, the tension draining out of his shoulders as they slump forward. “Strong dislike is probably closer,” Seongwoo adds. Of all the things he could have— _wanted to_ —say to Daniel, this is at the bottom of the list. It’s not on the list at all, but his mouth doesn’t seem to want to stop. Self-sabotage is something Seongwoo has always been good at, he supposes.

“Oh.” There’s the disappointment again, a different brand than Jisung’s, but it stings all the same. “Guess I deserve it though.” Daniel shrugs and busies himself making his tea (since when does Daniel drink _tea_ is the main question here) and Seongwoo figures that’s that.

He turns back, tapping his foot while waiting for the machine to beep. The air stretches taut between them. A part of Seongwoo desperately wants to say something, crack a lame joke just to hear Daniel laugh and feel like he’s funny. Maybe Jisung is right and Seongwoo should stop trying to punish Daniel, but he’s not as magnanimous as he would like to think. The larger part of him says no.

The machine beeps. Seongwoo takes the mug and makes to leave when—

“I’m sorry,” Daniel says finally, sounding impossibly small. He hasn’t moved from his spot at the counter.

Seongwoo stops in his tracks, grip on his mug tightening. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it.” The desperation in Daniel’s voice makes him turn around. “I shouldn’t have said what I did.” It’s the first time Daniel has openly acknowledged what happened between them. It’s the first time Seongwoo has bothered to listen to his apologies. He’d applaud if he weren’t so agitated.

“Well, you _did_ say it. That counts for something.” Seongwoo knows he’s being unreasonably petty. His mouth moves faster than his brain, so even if he wants to stop and just talk this out like mature adults, his damn mouth won’t let him.

“It was ignorant and stupid,” Daniel says. “Especially since I think I’m kind of in love with you.”

Seongwoo drops his mug. It shatters into a dozen pieces and Seongwoo immediately falls to his knees, gathering them up with his bare hands. One of the shards slices his palm open, but Seongwoo doesn’t register the blood or the pain until Daniel lets out a yelp. He blinks as Daniel’s face suddenly appears near his, hands reaching over and taking the shards from Seongwoo. He’s saying something, but all Seongwoo can hear is, _“I think I’m kind of in love with you.”_

“—eeding. Let me grab the first aid kit, okay?”

Daniel moves away, but Seongwoo’s grabs his arm. “I need—”

“What happened here?” Jonghyun’s voice breaks through the haze, and Seongwoo drops Daniel’s arm as if it shocked him. “Is that _blood?_ Seongwoo, wait there. Daniel, can you alert Jaehwan that he needs to write an incident report about Seongwoo’s workplace injury—”

“Uh, yes. I’ll get on it.” Daniel gives Seongwoo one last look before throwing the collected shards in the trash and heading to Jaehwan’s desk. Seongwoo watches him leave as Jonghyun frets over his injury, his head in turmoil.

His chest hurts more than his palm.

 

—

 

The anatomy of a fight:

 **(1)** drunken Seongwoo  
**(1)** maybe drunk but probably sober Daniel  
**(2)** bottles of soju between them  
**(3)** years of friendship verging into ‘best’ territory  
**(1)** billion stars or something above, clearly visible from the roof of his apartment building, setting a Mood  
**(Unquantifiable)** Seongwoo’s desire to overshare intimate details about his life, though Daniel started it  
**(1)** conversation that makes him sick to his stomach even after the questionable alcoholic judgement wears off

It happens like this:

Seongwoo doesn't like keeping parts of himself from his friends. It makes him uncomfortable, like he’s telling a lie when he isn’t. After three years of solid friendship, there are things he thinks Daniel ought to know about him, but telling Daniel is another story. He’s scared, to put it simply. Scared of Daniel’s reaction, scared of what he might think of Seongwoo afterwards. Yet he’s scared of never being able to tell him either, always pretending to be something he's not.

So they’re drunk and hanging out on the roof of his apartment building one night. It’s a clear summer night, the stars are visible, and Seongwoo is having way too much fun prying out Daniel’s deep and dark childhood secrets when Daniel turns the conversation back on him. “What about you?” he asks, taking a sip from his bottle. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“Something you don’t know…” Seongwoo repeats. “Well, I’m devastatingly handsome—”

“Doesn’t count,” Daniel cuts him off, laughing. “Something I _don’t_ know, remember?”

“So you think I’m devastatingly handsome?” Seongwoo fires back, wagging his eyebrows. Daniel shoves his shoulder lightly and Seongwoo chuckles, taking a swing of his drink. He doesn’t know what to tell Daniel, to be honest. There are a few things he hasn’t shared with anyone, and then there are things some of his friends know that Daniel doesn’t. Having that conversation is tough every time, but his friends so far have been pretty accepting. He trusts Daniel will be too.

This is as good a time as any, right?

“Well,” Seongwoo begins after a long pause. “I’m—I’m gay.”

There’s an unnaturally _loud_ silence, the nighttime sounds of the city grating against his ears. Seongwoo’s heart starts to race. Then he hears nervous laughter coming from Daniel, a furtive glance thrown at Seongwoo face. “Don’t joke about stuff like that. I was being serious.” Daniel takes another sip of his drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and laughs again.

 _Oh no,_ Seongwoo thinks. A knot forms in the pit of his stomach. “I am too,” he says carefully. “I’m attracted to guys. I don’t see the joke in that.”

“It’s not funny,” is Daniel’s swift response. “You’re—You’re _Seongwoo_. You can’t be gay.” He’s not sure what he hears in Daniel’s voice. Fear? Disgust? Desperation? Maybe an unholy combination of all three.

His eyes burn. “Why not? Because I don’t act gay?” Here Seongwoo thought he’d never have to have this conversation again. Here he thought Daniel was better than that, because three years tricked him into thinking he knew a person. “What the fuck does that mean, ‘You’re Seongwoo, you can’t be gay’?”

Daniel turns to face him. “Wait, I didn’t mean—” He breaks off and shakes his head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just shocked for a second. I don't—”

Hell no. Seongwoo is definitely drunk and too emotionally compromised for this and he doesn’t need to stand here and listen to any bullshit apologies. He holds up a hand to stop Daniel in his tracks. “Because I _am_ Seongwoo and I _am_ gay and I thought…” Trailing off, Seongwoo looks up at the stupid, traitorous stars. At least this is just between the two of them. At least no one else heard or Daniel wouldn’t be standing here in one piece. “You know what? I expected a better reaction from you.” He can’t look at Daniel’s face. “So much for trust. So much for friendship.”

“Seongwoo, wait—”

“Screw off,” Seongwoo mutters. He’s suddenly exhausted and doesn’t want Daniel to see him cry. Shaking his arm out of Daniel’s grasp, he chugs the rest of his drink and stomps out, slamming the door behind him. 

 

—

 

He’s distracted the rest of the morning, too conscious of Daniel sitting in the cubicle next to him. Typing is hard anyway; Jonghyun bandaged one of his hands too excessively (he feels like his hand has been wrapped in a pillow) and he can only bang on the keyboard with two fingers. Seongwoo gives up an hour before lunch and takes Jonghyun’s suggestion to head home early for the day. He’s never been so grateful for Jonghyun’s tendency to worry too much.

Except he can’t _drive_ and Daniel is the only person on his entire team who offers to give up their lunch hour to drive him home, even though Seongwoo insists he’ll just take the subway.

Which is how he finds himself in the last place he wants to be: close quarters with Kang Daniel after an awkward love confession when Seongwoo previously thought he was a raging homophobe.

It’s uncomfortable. Daniel clearly feels it too, because he prattles on about something to do with the weather and a new cat toy he bought for his kids until Seongwoo can’t take it anymore and cuts him off. “What the hell is up with you?”

Daniel blinks. “What do you—”

“You can’t just… casually blurt something like that out at work.” Seongwoo sinks down in his seat and looks out the window. “Not after—what if someone heard?” All he wanted from Daniel was a proper, sincere apology for being a dick after Seongwoo trusted him with important information, not a confession of love or pity, whatever the fuck it is.

“I—Sorry, I just said whatever came in my head.”

“Clearly.” This is a fucking mess. “Do you even really like me?”

“Of course I do,” Daniel says immediately. Seongwoo turns to look at him, eyebrows raised, and is slightly taken aback by the earnestness in Daniel’s gaze. “I meant what I said. I had a better speech planned but I just—I love you.”

His heart speeds up. There Daniel goes, using  _the word_ again. “And you decided that, what, last night?”

“I—” Daniel breaks off, frustrated. “No, of course not. I’ve been thinking about you and—”

“Damn, I should feel flattered.” Seongwoo lets out a hollow laugh. Bitterness fills his chest as he thinks about the past few weeks, about stress and guilt and misery quietly eating him whole. “And yet you couldn’t come up and just talk to me.”

_“Seongwoo.”_

“Okay, you don’t get to say my name like that.”

They both fall silent. Seongwoo presses his forehead against the glass and closes his eyes. It’s suffocating in here. He feels too hot and cold inside at the same time. Seongwoo tugs at his collar and tries not to think too hard about Daniel or the fact that his _best friend loves him._

_Yeah._

After a long pause, Daniel clears his throat. “I figured you didn’t want to talk to me,” he says. His grip on the steering wheel is too tight, knuckles white. Seongwoo glances over and feels a surge of something in his chest. It’s inexplicably scary and yet a relief at the same time. Something in him is _unwinding_ , like he’s glad this is finally happening—a long and overdue conversation.

“I didn’t,” Seongwoo says flatly.

“Exactly.”

“But you didn’t even try.” And that’s what bothers him the most, he thinks, that Daniel didn’t even _try._  Seongwoo thought their friendship meant more to him.

Daniel grimaces. “I wanted to give you space.”

“Really.”

“I already did one stupid thing,” Daniel says. “I didn’t want to push you to talk if you didn’t want to.”

Seongwoo understands the rationale, but it’s still frustrating to be the one who is expected to reach out every time. “Why do I always have to make the first move?” he grinds out. Why is Daniel the one who gets Jisung to white knight him, why is he the one who gets to miss Seongwoo, why is he the one allowed to confess like it’s not _weird_ , like it’s not the wrong time or place—

The car comes to a stop outside Seongwoo’s apartment building. “Don’t, then.” Before Seongwoo can say anything, Daniel twists in his seat and looks at him. “Don’t. This is,” he pauses, licks his lips. “This is me making the first move.” He leans forward. Daniel’s fingers brush against the underside of his jaw and Seongwoo’s back is pressed against his seat, but all he can think about is how close they are and how Daniel’s looking at him like he’s found something precious and he _doesn't know what to do_ except clumsily grip his collar and look at him, lips parted—

Daniel kisses him.

Daniel kisses him in the front seat of his car, slowly and hesitantly like he’s not sure of what he’s doing, like he’s trying to prove something. After the initial shock wears off, Seongwoo kisses him back and god, this is his best friend and also the guy who just told him he loved him and it is all kinds of wrong but he hasn’t been kissed like this in _years_ and Daniel’s mouth is soft, pliant, and—

_What is Seongwoo doing?_

He pulls away. Daniel’s breathing hard, his eyes bright. Seongwoo reaches back and unlocks the door, shaking his head. “I need to get away,” he says, missing the way Daniel’s expression tightens. “I just. I really need to go.” Seongwoo’s body moves of its own accord; he opens the door and slips out, shaking his head. _I’m sorry_ , he wants to say, but it’s too much all at once.

Without waiting for a response, he shuts the door on Daniel’s face and flees back to his apartment.

The sensation of Daniel’s lips lingers.

 

—

 

He stumbles into his apartment, feeling like he’s just run a marathon or been punched in the stomach or run a marathon and _then_ punched in the stomach. The feeling is confusing. His heart’s racing, his ears are red, and the living room seems to come in and out of focus.

Seongwoo slips out of his jacket and makes his way to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. The obnoxious blue can reminds him that it’s Daniel’s favourite brand—because Seongwoo doesn’t like beer and mostly keeps it around for when Daniel wanders in here after work, too tired or not in the mood to go to his own place (not that Seongwoo can blame him; Daniel has roommates and one of them is Jisung, enough said).

When he stops to think about it, there are a lot of things here that belong to Daniel in some way. Or in the case of the PS4, were bought thanks to his influence. Daniel has a pair of slippers by the front door, a slightly ratty blanket draped over the couch, random crap like his favorite hat or hoodie or a _whole wad of wrappers of his favorite candy_ tucked away in a corner so Seongwoo can keep his house somewhat clean. Oh, and Seongwoo’s raising Daniel’s cactus which shouldn’t mean anything and yet does.

And maybe because so much of his place should and does remind him of Daniel is the reason why the past few weeks haven’t felt right. Seongwoo’s home doesn’t feel like a home with just him in it, without the sounds of Daniel’s loud laughter or louder music or big, goofy smile directed at him. He wonders if this is what love is, if he’s fallen without knowing it, and it feels like it could be, like he could love Kang Daniel without trying too hard.

But he hears Daniel’s voice at the back of his mind ( _“You can’t be gay”_ ) mingled with a confession ( _“I think I’m kind of in love with you”_ ) and doesn’t know what to think or do. He wanted an apology and his friend back. This is more. Seongwoo’s not _prepared_ for more, even though every time he thinks about Daniel’s confession or the kiss, his heart swells.

He grabs another can of beer. “Dammit,” he mutters. This should not be a Monday problem.

 

—

 

It always rains when Seongwoo is about to do something stupid. He wonders if it’s the universe’s way of trying to get him to stop.

It’s not that stupid, he reasons. He’s just going out to dinner at his usual place because he’s hungry. Perhaps he’ll grab some drinks too because every day so far this week has been a ‘drink until his brain stops over-thinking every single thing’ and it’s Friday. He hasn’t been successful thus far. And if Seongwoo _happens_ to run into Daniel there because it’s his favorite dinner spot too, that is nothing but a coincidence.

Not really. He’s been more or less avoiding Daniel the entire week outside of polite ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ greetings. Logically, Seongwoo knows they should sit down and talk, but he still hasn’t worked out what he wants to say to Daniel. Part of him just wants the words to the come naturally, the other part wants to write a ten page speech because maybe that’ll help him work out his own feelings.

Seongwoo hopes running into Daniel casually here outside of work might spur him into some kind of action. He scans the restaurant for Daniel when he enters and is disappointed when he can’t spot his hulking figure anywhere. _What do you even want from him?_ his brain whispers. _Do you like him?_

Does he?

Seongwoo takes a seat and orders his usual along with a bottle of soju. The answer to that question is a resounding… maybe. He definitely feels something for Daniel past beyond just friendship, but Seongwoo doesn’t have a lot of experience with this liking someone thing. He has one rule: never fall for a straight guy. Unfortunately, since everyone he meets is presumed straight until proven otherwise, picking are slim. For context, the last guy he crushed on turned out to be straight and a Grade A Dick (a waste to put a face like that with a personality like his) so his caution is understandable.

He’d be lying if he said he never thought about Daniel that way, but according to Jaehwan, it is perfectly normal to occasionally picture your best friend naked and Seongwoo’s going with that. But nothing more. He doesn’t want to be that gay guy who preys on his friends and makes them uncomfortable. Even if he and Daniel… it was a non issue. Seongwoo isn’t into breaking his own heart in such a way.

But since Daniel is apparently _not_ straight as of Monday, things are different. Seongwoo had resigned himself to a life of loneliness or at least, you know, resigned himself to Grindr as his lord and saviour, until Daniel happened and now he really just wants to figure out what’s going on with that and perhaps teach him how to kiss properly because Daniel’s _begging_ to be coached—

He knocks back a glass of soju as the door opens with the sound of Kang Daniel’s laugh. Seongwoo immediately thinks, _SHIT_ , and attempts to dive under the table until he remembers he's an adult and this was what he was waiting for. Averting his eyes, he attempts to look busy and unbothered, but hits his nose with his bottle instead of bringing it to his lips.

“Hey,” he hears Daniel’s voice a few seconds later. He glances up to see Daniel standing by his table and rubbing his nose. “Can I join you?”

Seongwoo clears his throat. Says nothing, clears it again. “Okay.”

Daniel slides into the seat across from him. “Fancy meeting you here,” he smiles, picking up the menu. He looks good, fresh faced and relaxed, like he hasn’t been in a constant state of stress since Monday. Seongwoo hates him a bit for it. Just a little bit.

“I introduced you to this place,” he says, shoving a forkful of jajangmyeon in his mouth.

Daniel’s smile slips. “Right.”

“But yeah. Coincidence.” Seongwoo doesn't say anything about coming here in hopes of running into Daniel because that makes him sound pathetic and desperate (ignoring the fact that he might actually be pathetic and desperate). “Much… surprise…” Now he’s quoting a fucking outdated meme. Great.

Daniel’s mouth twitches. “Actually, I was hoping you’d be here.” Seongwoo chokes on a piece of radish. “I wanted to say,” Daniel runs a hand through his hair. “Sorry? Apologize, yeah. For the car the other day and assuming you would be okay with that.” _For the kiss_ , he doesn't say, because there are people around.

Seongwoo grabs a napkin and coughs into it. He doesn't say _I didn't mind_ or _since when were you so forward_ or _hey I’m lonely and I could like you back so kiss me again_ though any of those would be closer to the truth. Instead, he clears his throat after dabbing at his mouth. “It’s fine.” How lacklustre. “I would've pushed you away if I had a real problem with it.”

“I crossed a few boundaries.” Daniel sets the menu down and shifts in his seat.

“Boundaries,” Seongwoo echoes. “Boundaries, huh?” He can think of a couple other boundaries to add to that list, and maybe Daniel can tell what he’s thinking because he shrinks away, looking chastised.

“I can't apologize for confessing to you,” Daniel says though, with a set of his jaw. “I know I overstepped, but it took me a long time to figure out how I felt and I’m not going to cheapen that by acting like I regret it.”

“But how do you know?” Seongwoo presses sharply, unfairly. “How do you know it’s love or—whatever. You could just be confused. And straight.” He adds the last part in under his breath, fiddling with his chopsticks.

“How did you know?” Daniel counters, lowering his voice. “That you were gay?”

“That's besides the point.”

“When it came down to it, it wasn't hard.” Scratching the back of his neck, Daniel folds his hands in front of him and peers at Seongwoo with a hopeful look on his face. “I was scared—no, I guess I was unsettled by the thought of liking another guy. But I do! I know I like guys now,” he adds quickly, noticing Seongwoo’s darkening expression. “Or maybe it’s just _you_ I like.”

“But _how_.”

“I don't think daydreaming about kissing your best friend is all that straight.” Daniel laughs a little hesitantly, fingers playing the edges of the tablecloth. Seongwoo wants to laugh too. A thousand questions press against the base of his throat, fighting to be let out. _Since when?_ and _Why did you wait so long?_ are the strongest, but he swallows them.

Seongwoo takes a swing of his drink. Everything sounds so convenient, but life doesn’t work like that. “How can I trust you,” he finally chokes out. “How can I trust you not to hurt me, you giant fucking dummy.” Because he’s been hurt countless times before, most recently by Daniel when he thought his best friend was disgusted by his sexuality. It’s a lot to ask him to accept this now.

Daniel has the grace to look sheepish. “I dunno,” he says plainly. “I want to give you a guarantee but.” He stops and stares right at Seongwoo with conviction. “Some things are just a leap of faith.”

Seongwoo laughs. It doesn't reach his eyes. “I’m afraid of heights.”

“I’m scared of bugs, ghosts, and,” Daniel pauses. Seongwoo thinks about kissing him. Just an errant thought that jars him out of his senses, but Daniel looks vulnerable and sincere and god he’s weak. “Losing you,” Daniel finishes quietly. “Even if it's just as a friend—”

Seongwoo sighs. The restaurant feels too exposed suddenly, too loud and chaotic for this conversation. He looks at Daniel, shoulders hunched, trying to look small when he's clearly too big for the booth, and feels a rush of affection for him. He wants to believe this. He wants to believe Daniel. The answers to everything won’t magically come to him, but he feels warm when he looks at Daniel and that’s enough for now. It’s enough to work with.

The rest can come later.

“Do you want to come over?” Seongwoo asks finally. “I have your favorite beer in the fridge and if you don’t drink it, I’m going to have to host another party and I _just_ bought new sheets.”

Daniel blinks, then grins as his words set in. “Really?”

“Really.” Damn, his palms are clammy. “I feel like we might have a lot to talk about. Or a lot to drink to forget about.” Seongwoo gives Daniel a tentative smile and inhales. “You with me?”

Daniel’s eyes soften. “Always.”

 

—

 

Much later, they’re back on the roof of Seongwoo’s building with a couple of cans of beer between them. Daniel leans against the railing and tips his head back to the sky. “I love you,” he says again, and Seongwoo has to commend him for picking a better location for it this time, symbolically and literally.

Seongwoo comes to stand beside him and looks out. “Can I have some time to get used to the idea?” Not a yes or a no. It’s a maybe, an almost, a _we’ll see_ but it’s the best Seongwoo can give. He hesitates. “I might kiss you a couple more times to make up my mind, though.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Daniel’s shoulders shake in silent laughter. “Feel free. My lips volunteer as tribute.”

Seongwoo groans and covers his face. “That’s dumb. You’re dumb.”

He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around to see Daniel grinning at him, bathed in soft yellow light. “Want to start now?” he asks with a hopeful lilt to his voice.

Seongwoo considers saying no for the sake of his pride. But fuck pride, honestly. He’s going to do what he wants. “Why not?” he grins, grabbing Daniel by the shirt and pulling him closer. “I like getting a head start.”

 

—

 

Seongwoo wakes up to loud hammering and a pair of arms wrapped around him, limbs tucked against his body. He’s going to cramp in a few minutes, but he’s too groggy to move. “What—” Fuck, his head. What happened to not drinking during these things anymore? But to be fair, this was the first party in months and there were _shots_. Seongwoo loves shots.

“OH MY GOD,” Jaehwan yells. “NOT YOU TOO.”

He cracks one eye open and is greeted by white porcelain. Reaching back, he feels around until his fingers bump against a distinctive nose and he breathes a sigh of relief. It’s Daniel. He and Daniel are cuddling in the bathtub because apparently this is a _thing_ now. Well, now that he knows where, who, and why, he closes his eyes and shifts until his weight is pressed against Daniel. “Shut up.”

The sound of footsteps gets louder, then—” _Finally,_ ” someone who sounds suspiciously like Jisung says. Or it could be Minhyun. Fuck if he knows. God, he’s so tired and hungover. He just wants to sleep in this nice, cosy little alcove. “It’s been months!” Someone whistles in the background.

“Go suck a dick!” Seongwoo yells, raising his head. “And leave my house, you heathens!”

“Not until a get a picture!” Jisung/Minhyun yells back. Could be Sungwoon too.

Seongwoo turns back to see Daniel awake and looking down at him, a sleepy smile on his face. “Dick sucking?” he says, too hopefully, and Seongwoo contemplates headbutting him (but with affection). He hears the click of an iPhone above them, then some cackling. This sounds like Jaehwan, he thinks. “Does this mean we’re official now?” Daniel continues. “Since we woke up in the bathtub and all.”

“Why is this—” He blames Jonghyun and Minhyun for setting this precedent. Except those two took three years and he and Daniel took four months and—you can’t compare the two situations, but the end result is the same. “Sure, I guess. Whatever you want, _babe_.”

Daniel laughs but can't hide the pink in his cheeks. “So… how long do we have to stay here like this?” He grimaces. “My knees kinda hurt.”

Seongwoo yawns. “My bed’s more comfortable.”

“NO IT’S NOT,” Jaehwan yells from outside. “BECAUSE MINKI IS PASSED OUT ON IT AGAIN AND ALSO SOMEONE DROPPED PIZZA SAUCE ON YOUR PILLOW.”

“Pizza?” Seonho’s voice breaks through the din. How does this kid _always_ manage to crash their parties? Seongwoo blames Minhyun.

“Pizza sauce,” Guanlin says patiently. Of course he’s here too. “Seonho, he said pizza _sauce._ ”

“So _what happened to the pizza the sauce was on!_ ”

Seongwoo’s eye twitches. “CAN I GET ONE MOMENT OF PEACE IN MY OWN FUCKING HOUSE WITH MY BOYFRIEND PLEASE AND THANK YOU.” Hungover and tired and cranky is not a good combination. He can hear people snickering outside at the mention of ‘boyfriend,’ but Daniel just grins happily down at him and kisses his forehead.

“Right here's fine,” Daniel says, tightening his grip around Seongwoo’s waist. “Anywhere with you is fine.”

Seongwoo grins back and presses a kiss to his jaw. “I guess that's true.” He pauses. “I still want these people out of my house. _Then_ maybe dick sucking.”

Daniel can’t get out of the tub fast enough. “Sir yes sir!”

**Author's Note:**

> wow ao3 user galacticnik finally wrote something that wasn't a high school/college au—
> 
> hello it's me (again). i started writing this while halfway across the world and put it on a hiatus for a while... but my semester starts in earnest tomorrow so i wanted to finish at least one thing before then so here we are!! there are a lot of things i should apologize for in this fic so: i am sorry. i hope this makes sense. have a great day ❤


End file.
